She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
