Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
