she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
sex in a hospital.. check
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
