his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
