You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
