Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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