Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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