So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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