Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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