she woke up with a sticky ear
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
