So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
