Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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