I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
