you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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