Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
