How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
