Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Less talking, more tequila
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
