rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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