We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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