Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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