im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
dude. I can hear the air.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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