are you still at the devil's house?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize