My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
