i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im holly from the hills drunk
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
