so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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