woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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