so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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