she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
