I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
In other news, I just burned my penis
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
