Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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