I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
