so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
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My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize