stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
