Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
