my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
