My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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