Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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