the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
