I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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