did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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