Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize