Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
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He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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