I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm sobbing to NWA
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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