definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
