Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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