With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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