Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
