Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just invented taco cereal.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty