How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.