So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?