I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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