I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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