she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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