this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
no, he came in my armpit
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
