how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
