I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
