I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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