he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
