i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
