I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
